~ The Golden Tear ~

Last month was strange to me,or i was being strange to myself.I didnt write a single word for quite a while.People mailed me, called at 2 at night to inquire about the starving blog.I didn't feel like writing anything...

Believe you me I tried zillions times..I dissected the books shops like a Kangroo , wondering how some humans can write?,Reread my old posts...And "Posted by Vinay Garg"..string at the end looked strange to me.....Guitar didnt talk to me neither did my paint colors....Badminton Raquet too wasn't showing shity attitude as before...Every color seemed same..
I was stuck between happiness and sorrow...Friday evening and monday morning seemed the same to me.I knew something was on the cards.

11 P.M.

Saw a little boy crying in a movie...Asked myself .."When did i last cry?"....
Yes .. When did I? i wasn't able to recall when i last cried ..but i know the first thing i did after i came out of my Ma's womb was CRY.. I cant say why i had showed that display..may be we are afraid of the change.....

Ya...May be... i nodded my head..Tried to concentrate on the movie..But my mind had other plans....

Scenes of little me flashed to my mind...i wish some F-16 pilot had seen that speed, he must have felt small..

Those tears were always there for me in good and bad times....the days i felt lonely...the days i felt me...the days when i was top of this world....they always stood by me... always protecting me ....always realizing me my worth...showing the path....

Its a long time since i cried..M I stuck between happiness and sorrow?...good and bad....?Have i lost to feel?......Yes i was missing my friend.....

....Meantime....the guy i just saw crying on TV was kissing a girl....Oh God...!!! "No experiences so far...."

I remembered God after a long time(Surely not for the kiss, moron)....and jumped to the bed wid Redy redy boxers.....

Was feeling good...atleast my brain was functioning.....

Friday .....5 A.M ...tried to write something and to play guitar ...still my hands seemed to be freezed....yes they were...

Friday Day Time...............................

"You are not made for this".., "You know finance too requires dedication ..pressure is killing...na not for you..." some sweet soul said to me...making faces and sketching something in the air.

"So What You gonna do in life...I sometimes doubt.." as though he was doing the case study on me. ...completly turned down one by one every possible "Decent Job" a human can think of.

My dark part was complementing it too. Everything in me stopped for a while.Self talk too.Good....it was needed.

At every corner of life we meet people who say "You can't"... dictating paths for us...trying to define our lives....giving borders to our lives...and We do find people who say "You Can" ,those who believe in us...those who know us.....

But I feel...The ones with "You Can't" shout .. make you...make you what you are worth of....

The Day went pretty normal...

The Evening even more...

Night compelled me to do something different...Hey did you hear that?.."Different" that sounded familiar to me... i loved this word a month ago.

I thought i should meet a prostitute....i always wanted to write what flows in the her mind....How she perceives the world..? Why she lives..? Whats peace for her? and Whats true happiness for her?

I thought of having a good long ride..liked it ...but not smilled, loved it ...but not hurrah-ed.As soon i was feeling that my bike is the fastest engine on the earth....My ears sensed a huge sound of engine roar....

I saw a Plane proudly swimming in the sky.I looked at the plane like a year old child and thought why do some people declare that you can't fly......
.................the plane had lost in the sky.....i sensed warmth on my face....my friend was back...to show me the direction.....to show m wrong....to show my worth.... to show the Real Me...

The wait was over.....

Yes,he was back..there to support me again...to teach me patience.........to help me prove them wrong.....the friend was none other than the tear ......

..................the golden tear....